Can't sleep

I can't stop thinking about Robert. I know this sound morbid, but I can't stop thinking about them putting him in that black bag. I can't even imagine my parents checking on him to find he's dead. My dad tried to shake him awake, telling him to wake up. I can only imagine that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, realizing something is so horribly wrong and you can do nothing about it. How completely crushing! The horror of outliving your kid, it's so wrong. I never imagined that this would happen. We are all so devastated!!! And there's really nothing anyone can say, I don't want to talk to hardly anyone because I burst into tears. It felt good to call my best friend Danna, I can talk to her about anything. She made me feel better just talking to her, we've known each other for so long, she gets me. I knew that i could cry with her and tell her how I feel and she would understand, and it was ok to cry with her. I love Danna, she's really like a sister, she's really been there for me throughout all these years. I can't crumble, I have a family that needs me, but it feels so BAD. Dave has been so great, just lets me cry on his shoulder and holds me. Dave loved Robert too and has cried a bit as well. Robert's all happy up there in Heaven and we're all sad for ourselves. I can't wait to see him again and I know that families can be together forever. If I didn't have the fullness of the truth, not knowing about the afterlife, it would be so much more painful, the not knowing. We'll do Robert's Temple work next year. I hope that my family will get themselves together so we can be sealed as a family in the Temple, together forever. I am so sad.