Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Robert's Obituary

Charles Robert Tillotson
Born in Albuquerque, New Mexico on 09/24/1978
Departed on 07/22/2008 and resided in Albuquerque, NM

TILLOTSON - Charles Robert was born in Albuquerque, NM on Sunday, September 24, 1978, and departed Tuesday, July 22, 2008 as a result of pneumonia. Robert was diagnosed with Burkitt's lymphoma (cancer) in January of this year. Charles Robert Tillotson, or Robert, was born to Charles and Mary (Wilhelm) Tillotson. Robert, as a young child, showed a great aptitude for working with heavy equipment. He learned to drive at an early age, and was able to adapt to different types of machinery quickly. Robert attended New Mexico Tech in order to study the use of heavy machinery further. He went on to work in different kinds of heavy equipment operation in a variety of environments. Robert was also known for his love of animals. He had many pets and also bore a lot of responsibility, along with his sister, for the various livestock that his family owned over the years. In his work, he strove to always deal with the animals in a loving and compassionate manner. Those who knew Robert best, remember him for his fun loving and giving nature. No matter how dismal the circumstances, Robert had a natural way of breaking the tension. Right up to the very end, Robert tried to remain lighthearted and upbeat, often bringing his sister and parents to laughter, despite the difficulty he and his family faced. Also, last year, at Christmas, Robert participated in an event where he rode his motorcycle to benefit Toys for Tots. Robert often opened his home to friends in need and provided them with a place to stay, often at his own expense. His parents and friends were often impressed with his kind and loving nature, no matter the circumstances. Robert's strength of character also spilled into his strength of will. Even at the last, when Robert was on and off life support, his indomitable spirit always broke through. He would often fight through the sedation and try to communicate with his family and friends. In the end, he fought against the cancers and infections that ravaged his body and recovered to a degree that baffled and surprised his physicians. Robert was preceded in death by Mary and John Tillotson, his grandparents. He is survived by his parents, Mary and Charles Tillotson; his sister, Jennifer and brother-in-law, David Pendell of Colorado, and their children, Mary and Benjamin, who affectionately called him Uncle Bob. He is also survived by a half-sister, Devona Kay Shaw and her children; and grandparents, Harvey and Virginia Wilhelm all of Snowflake, AZ. Services will be held Saturday, July 26, 2008, 11:00 a.m. at the LDS Church Building in Pie Town, New Mexico. Friends and family my visit French Mortuary, University Blvd. Chapel, Friday, July 25, 2008 from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 pm.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Robert's Funeral 2

Robert's funeral is in Pie Town, NM at 11am at the LDS Church. French Mortuary is the funeral home presiding. Dave wrote Robert's obit, it should be in the Albuquerque Journal on friday. I'll get a copy here on my blog. I also picked the songs for his funeral. I also called around looking for funeral homes this morning. Whatever I can do to make things easier. I've just been making lots of phone calls, no big deal. People in our church have been bringing us food, it's been a real blessing. We're leaving friday for Pie Town, and then spend a couple days in ABQ after the funeral. This is so tough, it hurts so bad. I just still can't believe that Robert's gone. I have felt Robert's presence a few times which is calming.

Can't sleep

I can't stop thinking about Robert. I know this sound morbid, but I can't stop thinking about them putting him in that black bag. I can't even imagine my parents checking on him to find he's dead. My dad tried to shake him awake, telling him to wake up. I can only imagine that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, realizing something is so horribly wrong and you can do nothing about it. How completely crushing! The horror of outliving your kid, it's so wrong. I never imagined that this would happen. We are all so devastated!!! And there's really nothing anyone can say, I don't want to talk to hardly anyone because I burst into tears. It felt good to call my best friend Danna, I can talk to her about anything. She made me feel better just talking to her, we've known each other for so long, she gets me. I knew that i could cry with her and tell her how I feel and she would understand, and it was ok to cry with her. I love Danna, she's really like a sister, she's really been there for me throughout all these years. I can't crumble, I have a family that needs me, but it feels so BAD. Dave has been so great, just lets me cry on his shoulder and holds me. Dave loved Robert too and has cried a bit as well. Robert's all happy up there in Heaven and we're all sad for ourselves. I can't wait to see him again and I know that families can be together forever. If I didn't have the fullness of the truth, not knowing about the afterlife, it would be so much more painful, the not knowing. We'll do Robert's Temple work next year. I hope that my family will get themselves together so we can be sealed as a family in the Temple, together forever. I am so sad.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Robert's Funeral

Robert will be buried in Pie Town, NM on Saturday the 26th of July. I still can't believe any of this is real, I'm in shock. I've felt my brother's spirit with me from time to time, and I know he's happy, still... My heart hurts so bad, this is a tough one. Pray for our mom, she really needs some peace. She wants to be with Robert so bad, I only hope she can wait until it's her time. Everyone is so worried about her. Robert would have been 30 in September. I've cried so much, then when I feel like I have no tears left I cry again. The funeral is going to be tough! I'm speaking at his funeral and I'm going to tell some funny stories about Robert and share the good things about him. I'd better buy waterproof mascara...

Charles Robert Tillotson 1978-2008

Charles Robert Tillotson died about an hour ago, he stopped breathing. 911 was called but they could not bring him back. I miss my brother deeply and I love him so much. I know that he was welcomed with open arms by family that has passed and our Savior Jesus Christ. I'm in a state of shock right now and my heart is broke. Robert loved children and loved to laugh. My brother told the best jokes and always wanted to cheer people up. Robert was giving and always giving people a chance when no others would. Robert will be deeply missed. I am glad he is not suffering anymore and went peacefully. The world lost a great man today. Dave called the Preston England Temple and put my family's name on the prayer role. It's 3 am. Please pray for my family to have peace and calmness. The picture above is Robert,Ben, me, and Mary about four months ago.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Robert's Home

Robert went home today, which is good. He's in a tremendous amount of pain, but the pain killers seem to help. Mom is really worried, but she's taking care of him and around him all the time without a break. He's supposed to have a nurse come everyday. I am worried about mom's health. I can only pray that things will get better in the next couple of days. Robert needs prayers.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Family pics

I hope to be posting family pics soon, and also one with Robert a while ago.

Robert Update

I talked to my mom today and Robert is in a lot of pain. He gets aggravated and the nurses say that makes the pain worse. I asked my mom why he was in pain and she thinks it's because he's been laying down for so long and his muscles are just so tight and they ache now that he's awake and moving. Mom is going to get a massage therapist to come to the hospital or when he goes home to try to relax the muscles. Even if his muscles are not the problem for pain, a massage can really do him some good anyway, a lot of good. I could hear him talk in the background, he was talking slowly and it's hard for him to talk, but it was so nice to hear his voice. When I was at the hospital he was still on a breathing tube, I read to him out of the Book of Mormom about Alma the younger and his life-changing experience. My dad said he stirred a bit and rolled his head in my direction. I would also talk to him a little and he would open his eyes and try to talk, then cry, that broke my heart when I say him cry. Dave was talking to him and Robert opened his eyes huge and rolled his head over at looked right at Dave, like as if to say, "Hey Dave, good to see you.". That was a neat experience.

Thursday, July 17, 2008


So my husband Dave has been laid off for four months, it's been really awful, and really hard. Living in a small town doesn't give you many opportunities. Finally he got a job as a train engeneer, driving trains locally and also ground work as well. We are so thankful! Dave kept wondering why he even got his BA from college, but since asked him to write for them freelance, Dave feels like he's using his skills for what they were intended. Plus Dave is a genius on a computer, and totally a geek which he is proud. Though he's 6'5 and 300 lbs (he looks like a football player, which he was), no one really wants to mess with him. And ever since he learned Karate in College and the only people who would even spar with him were black belts, makes him intimidating. I have to say though I am a lot meaner than Dave. I learned Karate too and would spar with him, I wouls still get a puch, jab, headbut or slap, I keep him busy. Dave says I fight dirty, but how can you fight clean? We have fun with Karate and practice.

My brother Robert

So I heard from my mom that Robert might possibly go home on monday. Wow! He's real weak but improves daily. He gets upset when anyone talks about him nearly dying, I don't blame him. He's out of ICU, and we all think he'll feel better at home, and being at home can make you better anyway. When our son was born 9 weeks early he stayed in the NICU for 5 1/2 weeks, but when we brought him home he just flourished, and even gained two pounds a week for a while. Keep Robert in your prayers. This has all been a big lesson for our family, we've learned to have stronger faith, love each other more, fight less. I just realized how life is just so short and if you want to do something why wait. Also we learned how much the Lord loves us and blesses us and how we can't make it through this world without Him.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I'm the hugest fan of 'X-Men', like a walking dictionary. I have a lot of x-men comic books and wolverine comic books.

Comic book movies

So I saw 'HELLBOY' a couple of weeks ago, I LOVED it, a little icky but awesome. So I can't wait to see 'HELLBOY 2'. Everyone in the house loves 'Red'. Of course can't wait to see 'The Dark Knight', a huge fan of 'Batman Begins'. Saw 'The Incredible Hulk' movie years ago, hope to see the remake. I heard it's a ton better. Hard to see movies when you live in a small town. i love the hulk series on TV, I think Bill Bixby was fantastic and just perfect, cute too. We have like almost all the comic book movies, plus 'The Matrix' series.

New to this...

So I saw Mama Wilson's blog, and my friend Barb's that I've been visiting forever and thought it would be a great way to keep updates on the family and post pics, so there you go.

Burkett's Lymphoma

In January my brother Robert was diagnosed with Burkett's Lymphoma, which includes luekemia. Robert turns 30 in sept. Well, it's in his leg, spine and brain. He was doing really well with chemo, and the cancer in his brain was gone. He then went to the hospital for chemo and he pneumonia as well. Not sure what happened but his blood pressure totally dropped and his heart stopped. He was given CPR and lived again. He then was put on life support. I'm happy to report that he is now off a breathing tube after 1 1/2 weeks, talking, and will be out of ICU by tomorrow. So my family and I are Mormon and we prayed our guts out. The Dr.'s gave Robert a 2% chance of survival and said it would be a miracle if he got through this. The Dr.'s underestimated our faith!